Your Dungeon Is Racist

  Hi, My character is named Weenu.  Don't ask me about my class or alignment - it's none of your business.  We all have skills.  We are all valued members of the adventuring party community.  Morality is relative, everything is basically equal... cats and dogs should be able to legally get married and being a MAP (minor attracted person) is probably even better for environmental justice than heteronormative sexuality because systemic racism, queerbaiting, feminism, the patriarchy, cops, Kyle Rittenhouse, and climate change.   Weenu identifies as sword-wielding and mandolin strumming, loves chocolate, but most importantly wears khakis.  Their khakis is an important part of the character concept.  In fact, it's the main driving force behind their entire personality... just like me.  Assuming that I'm a bard is both transphobic and racist, and don't assume gender or sexual preference - flutter-shy pixie/orc fluid hemaphrodite and humiliated...

  You know what roleplaying games need?  More bureaucratic authority!   Player agency is too important to be left in the hands of players.  Instead, RPG experts like scientists, doctors, healthcare administrators, teachers, school boards, reptoids, and members of Congress should make all character decisions for you.   As the Dungeon Master for our group, I have an open chatbox to several governmental agencies in case the fighter wants to attempt diplomacy or the bard peruses the wizard's library for clues.  Especially, when such actions fly in the face of my delicately crafted narrative!   If players overstep their authority by deciding what their own characters do, that's just going to ruin the game.  Who knows what's best?  Some random dude sitting at my table, trying to immerse himself in an elf-game... or shadowy, unaccountable deep-state operatives who I just messaged a few minutes ago? I think you already know the answer....

  Serious question for everyone out there who plays RPGs (if you're merely a fan of streams like Critical Role without actually roleplaying yourself, there's the door)... Should we rebrand the OSR into Let's Go Brandon? ___________________________ Venger As'Nas Satanis Editor-in-Chief of Your Dungeon Is Racist ___________________________