I Feel The Spirit Moving Through Me
Happy Halloween, Motherfuckers!
Posts
Learn To Game Design
Learn to code? Nah. Learn to game design, instead! Hey YOU, I just launched my 23rd Kickstarter this morning. Game Master like a fucking God! Here's the link, hoss. Thanks and share it, VS
Who Doesn't Love Cheese?
Hey guys, Help support the few times a year I post stuff on this blog by purchasing one or more gorgeous, professionally printed, limited edition, signed, and numbered hardcover Cha'alt books! Details over here! Merry Cha'altmas, VS
How's That Unity Coming Along?
Every administration, ushered in by the President, has a word or phrase that exemplifies their agenda. Obama had Hope. Trump had MAGA. Biden's was Unity. Little did we know that when "unity" tumbled out of his geriatric mouth like a half-eaten meatball, it meant something else. Biden's idea of unity is everyone doing what their told. It's going to be another loooooong two years. Hang on to your hat... you may need to eat it. Hey, better than the bugs, right? Have a great weekend, VS
The Real Matrix 4
__________ Hey, if you haven't already, check out Cha'alt: Chartreuse Shadows and grab your ticket to this July's Madison, WI VENGER CON ... exclusively old-school, OSR, and traditional RPGs. Thanks for your continued support, hoss! VS
We Found Nazis!!!
After 2016, we've been searching under every rock, social media group, and white-identity organization we could find. Long story short, it's been nearly impossible to find any actual nazis in 2021... until now! Yes, calling for mayo monkey white folk possums to be unapologetically sent to the gas chamber counts. Explanation video here! The staff at Your Dungeon Is Racist were as surprised as you, but calling for racial genocide definitely makes the cut. Nazis found, everyone. Woohoo! Only one hiccup. The nazis are black. That's... unfortunate. The best we can hope for is that half the Mayo Monkeys Gotta Go movement are undercover FBI agents. Oh yeah, one more thing - congratulations finding the nazis, Twitter, and helping to bring these racial supremacists to justice. VS p.s. I know, this doesn't have anything to do with gaming. Sorry.
You ARE Your Fucking Khakis
Hi, My character is named Weenu. Don't ask me about my class or alignment - it's none of your business. We all have skills. We are all valued members of the adventuring party community. Morality is relative, everything is basically equal... cats and dogs should be able to legally get married and being a MAP (minor attracted person) is probably even better for environmental justice than heteronormative sexuality because systemic racism, queerbaiting, feminism, the patriarchy, cops, Kyle Rittenhouse, and climate change. Weenu identifies as sword-wielding and mandolin strumming, loves chocolate, but most importantly wears khakis. Their khakis is an important part of the character concept. In fact, it's the main driving force behind their entire personality... just like me. Assuming that I'm a bard is both transphobic and racist, and don't assume gender or sexual preference - flutter-shy pixie/orc fluid hemaphrodite and humiliated...
Players Don't Need Agency, But Lizard People Do
You know what roleplaying games need? More bureaucratic authority! Player agency is too important to be left in the hands of players. Instead, RPG experts like scientists, doctors, healthcare administrators, teachers, school boards, reptoids, and members of Congress should make all character decisions for you. As the Dungeon Master for our group, I have an open chatbox to several governmental agencies in case the fighter wants to attempt diplomacy or the bard peruses the wizard's library for clues. Especially, when such actions fly in the face of my delicately crafted narrative! If players overstep their authority by deciding what their own characters do, that's just going to ruin the game. Who knows what's best? Some random dude sitting at my table, trying to immerse himself in an elf-game... or shadowy, unaccountable deep-state operatives who I just messaged a few minutes ago? I think you already know the answer....
OSR Rebranding
Serious question for everyone out there who plays RPGs (if you're merely a fan of streams like Critical Role without actually roleplaying yourself, there's the door)... Should we rebrand the OSR into Let's Go Brandon? ___________________________ Venger As'Nas Satanis Editor-in-Chief of Your Dungeon Is Racist ___________________________
Open Threat To The Community
Your Dungeon Is Racist has RPG reporters on the ground, ready to investigate stories of interest to the gaming community. You've probably already heard about the threatening email sent to Wizard Towers Games, instructing them to disavow TSR Games and their convention or else trans activists along with other far-left harassers will be forced to ruin both game companies. Here is Wizard Towers Games' response. Apparently, there's another anonymous email being sent around to random gamers, targeting them for not doing more to protect the vulnerable and marginalized trans community. Below is the transcript... Dear Bigots, If you do not bend to our will and say whatever we force you to say, the entire people of alphabet will come after you with everything we have. How can you prove your solidarity and escape utter annihilation? Easy! Your Dungeon Master must have either a woman's penis or man's vagina in their mouth at least 50% of every D&D session (while also ma...
If You Don't Play D&D 5e, The World Dies
The end is nigh! It's hard to know what to think these days. That's why we should all be grateful when our thinking is done for us. I, like many others, were under the impression that gaming was a leisure activity, a hobby, perhaps even something akin to a religious experience. Little did I know that roleplaying was literally a life or death decision. According to some guy on YouTube, if you insist on wasting your time with non-D&D 5th edition games, the world will end and human beings will die horribly in unquenchable fire. Logically, this makes perfect sense... if you think about it. You see, Wizards of the Coast (owned by Hasbro) makes a lot of money... but not all the money. 5e is also extremely popular, but is not played by everyone. People doing their own thing is bad. Money is good. You should want more of it or, at least, to be nearer to it, and playing 5e... makes the money... more... because Critical Role... and cultural si...
You Might Be A Nazi...
In honor of the Exalted Funeral discord calling someone who posted a pic of his new Cha'alt books a "nazi supporter" after banning him, I've created a list of ways you can tell if someone actually is a nazi. Enjoy! If you've ever liked or supported Venger Satanis and his various works, then you might be a nazi. If you've never said that you wanted to punch someone because they were a nazi, you might be a nazi. If you don't categorize those with whom you disagree as inhuman and/or evil, you might be a nazi. If you've ever looked at an encounter, mentally scratched it out, and replaced it with your own ideas, you might be a nazi. If you've never considered including a gay wedding in your D&D campaign, you might be a nazi. If your party of adventurers doesn't spend half their game time writing love notes or slow dancing or cuddling by the campfire followed by heavy petting, you might be a nazi. If, on the other hand, the PCs are more int...
D&D "5.5" 50th Anniversary Edition
YDIR sent our staff writer, Ricardo Alja'azira, to do an in-depth expose on the proposed "evolution" of 5th edition set to fully come out of the closet in 2024, coinciding with the 50th anniversary of Dungeons & Dragons. The following may surprise you as Ricardo went deep... super deep into the bowels of Wizards of the Coast, Project Veritas style, to determine just what changes we could expect to see in the next version of D&D... If your character isn't wearing a rainbow flag, pin, patch, or sticker of some kind, they will be docked 10% of their experience points. Elves are going to sparkle... a lot. At least one member of the party must be confined to a wheelchair (combat optional). Characters will now get Disadvantage on saving throws if they voted for Trump in one of the American presidential elections. If they voted for Trump twice, saving throws auto-fail. Also, Hillary Clinton actually won in 2016 - Trump only won because of Russian bots (but mail-i...