Players Don't Need Agency, But Lizard People Do

 

You know what roleplaying games need?  More bureaucratic authority!  

Player agency is too important to be left in the hands of players.  Instead, RPG experts like scientists, doctors, healthcare administrators, teachers, school boards, reptoids, and members of Congress should make all character decisions for you.  

As the Dungeon Master for our group, I have an open chatbox to several governmental agencies in case the fighter wants to attempt diplomacy or the bard peruses the wizard's library for clues.  Especially, when such actions fly in the face of my delicately crafted narrative!  

If players overstep their authority by deciding what their own characters do, that's just going to ruin the game.  Who knows what's best?  Some random dude sitting at my table, trying to immerse himself in an elf-game... or shadowy, unaccountable deep-state operatives who I just messaged a few minutes ago?

I think you already know the answer.  And just in case you're mentally retarded, that answer is lizard people!

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Hans Manchin

Associate Editor for Your Dungeon Is Racist

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Comments

place name here said…
Typical fascist, transphobic, heteronormative, patriarchal, capitalist, misogynistic, Islamophobic, racist tripe! All games should and must be run as anarcho-collectives. End of discussion.

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